Kill Tony #786

Hello? Hi. I am Japanese. Japanese. I, I just moved here. Yeah, I've been, I've been living here a while. I mean, I mean I been, I just moved here. I trying to get culture to try to get used to the cultures here. One of them is a bro culture. You guys what the bros? Yeah, they're confusing. I've been studying them. Hey. And I found out the bros, they're so afraid to be seen as a gay person. They're afraid, but they also like to do some really gay stuff. Yeah. 'cause the other day a good friend of mine, he's bro, he texted me a picture of his ball sack and I was afraid, what's his intention? Then I thought about it. He's just tryi…

Hello. Hello. Hey guys. So excited about the Texas Longhorns win this weekend. Can I get a number one team in the country? Hell yeah. All right. So I think that everybody has went way too far with the whole health craze. How many people are in support of that? Like for example, you, there's organic everything. There's freaking organic Pop-Tarts now. Like what the hell? I, it's ridiculous. So I'm at Sam's, I go to Sam's and I'm looking to buy a giant thing of honey. Okay? So I'm looking at these two things of honey. I'm like, they have organic honey and I'm looking at it and I'm trying to decide like, is it worth the extra $3 to g…

So I need to update the contacts in my phone because Meta keeps suggesting I add people that have fired me. I'm a serial employee this time last year I got fired from my housekeeping job. And like any good serial employee, I hit the ground running, started applying to tons of places. And on the in and out application it asked how many employers I've had in the last three years. I would've rather have given them my body count. So I love Netflix documentaries. Don't we all? I really, really, I usually watch True Crime, but I really love the Arnold Schwarzenegger one, You know? Yeah, yeah. And I didn't realize how compatible we were…

You ever notice that peanut allergies and abortions became popular around the same time? I think that peanut allergies are circumstantial evidence that God is cool with abortions. 'cause somebody dying from a peanut allergy. It's a lot like God saying, Hey, You know those abortions you like so much missed one. There's a certain segment of the L-G-B-T-Q-C-I-A community Unity that wants to accept pedophiles and they don't want people calling them pedophiles anymore. They wanna rebrand them as maps minor attracted persons. If you ask me, it's gonna bring a whole new meaning to the phrase Google Maps. Right. Google's gonna have to re…

Shit, what's good people? God damn, I made it. Let's get straight to it. I've been on paper since oh eight. I don't know If you, why y'all ain't laughing, but white folks papers mean probation. Shit. Probation, yes. Probation. Yeah. That means I have to go drop piss and shit like every three, three to four months. How? How I act with Haber. But it is just crazy like, 'cause the first 3, 4, 3 years is a little bit dangerous. It was a little bit too bad like, like because I was getting the same dude. Like I was getting the same, same black dude. I'm like, is this dude kind of funny? Because that's how I started when I first started…

Hey, what's up? It's good to be here. I just, I'm one of the short midgets that fuck that guy's girlfriend. It's Glad I can't believe we made it to the same place. This is exciting. It's good to be here. What's up you guys? You guys racist or All right, nice. Good. A lot of nervous laughter, but no one said no. That's exciting. That's cool. Here's what I think. I think racism's never gonna end in America. Unfortunately. No matter how many times they spray paint end racism in the end zone of an NFL field, it's never gonna end. That was their solution. They put end racism in the end zone. Like that was gonna change something. And n…

Shout out Lauren Clancy. Postpartum is real. And I understand it. Not just 'cause a bunch of my homegirls had babies, but men go through that too. I call it post hard on depression. Some people call it post nut clarity, but I call it post hard on depression because at the end all of my kids die on somebody's face or back. I don't fuck with ai. I don't. I was in the Denver airport and I was coming to get on my flight and then I walked over and they had like a little aisle where you can like buy the snacks and shit. And normally they have somebody there like to ring it up. But you just put 'em on this like little table that automat…

What's going on? A good thing pedophiles could say to get into the L-G-B-T-Q is something like, hey, we got pride too. Just ask little Timmy. We pried his butt cheeks open last week. It is true. I recently thought of this candy nobody's made before. Oh my God. It's a candy that would start off lemony and tart and then it would turn sweet and then it would turn tart again. And you'd call it the retard. Another thing I think is funny is when fat chicks get their hair done, Keep going. Thank you. They'll be like, Hey does this look good? And it's like, well no, there's still 300 pounds under it. Thank you.

Appreciate that. I'm really excited to be here, but I, I gotta admit, I'm really nervous. A lot of people have suggested that I drink, but If you couldn't tell, I have a problem with my enunciation and when I drink I tend to slur Blacks, Asians, Jews. So I'm really into 69 ing. Yeah. There's nothing better than a bitch dropping her fat dumper on your face while you're reading her the Quran. But You know, like everyone I get, You know, it gets hot, You know? So what? So what I like to, what I started doing I guess is I started blowing air into their asses. So when it comes back out, You know, I get a nice breeze. I think that's my…

Men, we do not make women come. It's a scientific fact that 90% of women do not come from penetration. Trust me, I do my research. I read Cosmopolitan. I'm gonna tell you what you do though. If you here with a woman tonight, go to her side of the bed. She keep it junk over there for a reason. She don't want nobody messing with her stuff. Reach up under the bed. There's gonna be a box up under there. Pull that box out. When you open up that box gonna light up like the holy grail, you'll be like, what the fuck is this? Inside that box gonna be a rose that didn't come from the garden. A war. And no wizard. Bullets that don't go in g…

If you like pain. It's collages. That's it. It's just, that's a song my sister sings. So my name's Joel Cash. I'm from Indiana. It's better to be from it than in it. I grew up with a dad who says stuff that I can't tell if it's really idioms or if it's just shit. My dad says like, if he's hungry, he'll say, I'm so hungry I could fall through my butt hole and eat myself. And If you tell him you are hungry, he'll say, find a corner and bite the wall. People used to come to my mom for advice 'cause their lives were falling apart. I say used to 'cause my mom is not alive anymore. That, well, You know, I don't know if You know that's…

I am a transgender woman. Woo. I am brave buying $13 dresses at Ross is brave. Woo. How many of you in here have a vagina? Makes noise. Woo. Lucky dude. I want one so bad. I want a pussy so bad. I, there's women getting like a surgery called angioplasty. They're trimming their lips off. And I'm over here like, you gonna finish that? I'm trying to get a little to go box. Donelle Box is a euphemism for vagina

I've had ever since Juanita asked to go to LA and you told her, no, my nose has been leaking. Like I have a slow nose leak from, I literally, I think I blew a blood vessel in my brain from laughing and I saw Troy over my shoulder. You have pictures of that, don't you? I went that way for some reason. When shit gets crazy, I go that way. Oh my God. How about a hand for Don l Rowlings? Ladies and gentlemen, don l Rawlings dot com. MGM Grand Thanksgiving Day weekend, Cleveland hilarity, October 16th and 17th, the Donnell Rawlings Show available everywhere you are. Unbelievable. I've always loved you. I fucking love you more than eve…