Dedrick Flynn

Shout out Lauren Clancy. Postpartum is real. And I understand it. Not just 'cause a bunch of my homegirls had babies, but men go through that too. I call it post hard on depression. Some people call it post nut clarity, but I call it post hard on depression because at the end all of my kids die on somebody's face or back. I don't fuck with ai. I don't. I was in the Denver airport and I was coming to get on my flight and then I walked over and they had like a little aisle where you can like buy the snacks and shit. And normally they have somebody there like to ring it up. But you just put 'em on this like little table that automatically like gather how much you got and they give you a price. And I, I click to pay. And then it had a screen that popped up and it said, suggested tip nigga, I'm not tipping ai. I, that was the blackest I felt in a long time. Like my nigga, I'm not. And the first option was 25%. My nigga, you didn't do anything at all. And but, but I still felt America so I wanted to give him a chance. Right? Because maybe the person who stocked it was near, I said, Hey, If you the nigga that suck this shit, you got two seconds to come over here. Nobody came so I stole it. Ah, such fuck Deborah. But it is, but I don't fuck with ai. I was like Texas just passed a weed band and at first I was with it because I thought they was just trying to go against like Delta eight and like THCA, right? Because I don't believe in AI weed. You know what I'm saying? I don't, I don't believe in that shit. That shit is wrong. But then I found it was also THC in there and the reason why I don't fuck with Delta eight 'cause the nigga gonna try to sell it to you like it's supposed to be weed. And he's like, yo, it's just one molecule off from being weed. And I wanna let You know that one molecule is full of nano bytes, right? It's full of nano bytes because you ever met somebody who ate a weed edible. That nigga's still smart and giggling and having a good time. But anybody on the delta a edible is the stupidest nigga that you've ever met. Right? Because the nano bites get to your brain and them niggas up there deleting shit, You know what I'm saying? They deleting shit and shredding files. Right? You have your, you ever been high? If you have, you ate Delta eight and you look at your phone and it give you an ad for the thing you was thinking about. It is because of the wifi. Hit it. Right. You know what I'm just saying? If a nigga is high, he probably just eating. But if he eat Delta eight, that nigga is drooling. And you walk up to him, you're like, how is your day going? He's like, there was a fire earlier.

Dark Storm. Dark Storm got a problem. My nephew just got suspended from school for selling vape pens. Because, you know, the youths like to, like, they like to breathe in vanilla coke and orange soda and shit like that. They can't, they want their AI cigarettes. I like acoustic cigarettes more than the electric cigarettes. But he got called selling them, and then his dad came and picked him up, and he was like, where are you getting the vapines from? And he said, don't lie to me, like, lie to your mama because, like, they separated so, like, she don't count. He said, you tell me the truth. Didn't this nigga go say, oh, I've been getting them from Uncle Dedrick? He shipped him to me, and then we split the profits. Right? So he's going to call me mad as hell. He's like, Desmond, I say, first of all, you're not mad at me. You mad. You raised a son. You made you raise this snitch. I told you to stop giving that nigger almond milk. Alright? If you gave that nigger whole milk, he would have been doing whole milk grind. What is this world coming to? Why is subway selling nachos? Nigger that is not your way. O way is the sub. The decision the same niggie that I hired Jared. Magnesium. So I could pee hard. It's like I want to be prepared for the day where it's just. for the day where a dude walk, but he don't honor the one stall thing, and he compete next to you, and you know as a man that's a challenge, so I want to piss harder than this nigga, you know what I'm saying? So I pee on hard and fuck from the magnesium. This shit be splashing on me and then getting on him, he got to run away because that nigga lost. But I didn't realize the consequences, because now I come too hard. Like, I can press you watch the sidewalk. You know what I'm saying, from the PSI, and I came in my girlfriend. her, IUD shot out, and then it hit me in the eye, and then she just missed her period. So we'll see. Dark Storm Island

Guys, I wrote this down after a traumatic incident where, like, me and my girlfriend got into a fight in front of our friends. What you know about? Don't even try to cuddle me after Uno. I can't get comfy with a reverse draw four-ass ob. Since you want to skip so much, how about skip that on these cuddles, nigga? You know what I'm saying? That's what I wrote. Would you know about having to get into a bar fight with a Botox salesman because she won't stop trying to sell your white girlfriend, Botox? And Botox salesmen remind you of crackheads trying to sell crack. Because you kind of like, nigger, look what it did to you. Like, I get, if y'all love Botox or Botox, if you want a girl whose face is frozen in time, that's okay. But leave my white woman out of it. Like, you know what I'm saying? Like, she's cute. She's adorable. She is, she's pale as hell too. And it's true what they say. Once you go pale, she'll make he eat kale. You know what I'm saying? That's true. Am I only one that I heard that? But it is crazy because white women always care about what they eat. Like she won't organic shit in her body, but she'll fill her face up with like yuppie concrete. You know what I'm saying? Like that shit is a discussion. Like I fucking hate Botox. Dating the white girl is dangerous because I was recording my comedy special and I went to go kiss her on her forehead, right? Because like a forehead kiss is God in nature's antidepressant. Right? Like, if you kiss her, you give a girl a cranium smooth, she okay, she don't need Zoloff, right? And I use it as good luck, and I kissed the forehead. And before I was about to record, my homeboy slapped me behind the head. He was like, nigger, you doing coke? You know what I'm saying? Because some of her porcelain dust makeup got on my nose. And I was like, my nigger, I do white girl, but not that kind of white girl. That's my time I love y'all.

Darkstorm Guys can I open up to you I got a big fear of porta potty's And I don't think I'm being Irrational about that I think that's the scariest place To take a shit in your life Like I would much rather get caught Like being seven years old At elementary school taking the shit Because my shoes were down And then everybody just call you shitty beauty boy Until you in middle school Right? Because it's like a porta potty is like terrifying. Like, if you ever go to, like, a festival and all they have is porta parties, that's the only time you start acting like women when you just, you look at your homeboys, like, I got a bee. Can you please come with me? Like, you know, like, all of y'all, can y'all, can all 17 of y'all come with me to beat? Because I don't, I don't trust these niggas. What if they decide to flip it over? You know what I'm saying? What if they decide to flip? What if they start a riot and they flip over the porter potty? Can y'all watch out for me? Like, his, Like, what you know about being drunk and then walking home? And on the way, when you walk home, you gotta pee, but you see a porta potty, but you can't trust it, right? Because there ain't no ring cameras on the porta potty. Like, you know what I'm saying? So they can do whatever they want to use. So you go pee in the bush, because bushes are safe, right? Bushes are safe. Portapotis aren't, because we're scared of the same two things that can happen. Like, you open up the porta potty, and it's just like an undercover cop, and that niggas, like, aha, I got you, you got to be. Or worse, it's like a homeless wizard, and that nigga convinced you that the porta-potty is a time machine, but you got to touch the blue, right? You know what I'm talking? Y'all know what I'm talking about that time travel blue port-a-body juice? You got to put your hand in there, and it's going to crawl over your body, like when Neo touched the mirror and the Matrix. Darkstorm, I'm done.

Guys, I, I hate politics, but sometimes people ask me political questions like, this dude came to me, he said, Dedrick, are you more of a boobs or a butt man? Right? And I don't like politics, but I had to answer the man. And I said, brother, I don't care what the restaurant is serving, I'm here to eat. Like, you know, like I, I'd prefer the combo meal, you know what I'm saying? If I could get both boobs and butt, that's a great combo meal. But if the chef is 86 ass today, I'm fine with the titties. Like, you know what I'm saying? I'm fine with it is like Todds in french fries, nigga, I don't care. Put it in my mouth. Like, you know what I'm saying? I'm not, I'm not here for that. And that's why I hate politics. Like it reminds me of the great political discussion, drums or flats when it comes to wings. And I'll be like, brother, I doesn't matter. I'm bilingual. We're not here for these side items. We're here for the entree, which is the vagina. Right? I don't care if nigga, if I don't care if they have broccoli or not. Nigga bring me the steak.

everybody do y'all remember when science was sexy Like, do y'all remember Like, the sexiest thing you could be with, like, an astronaut or... Y'all remember when, like... With, like... Y'all remember when, like, Bill Nye was getting the most pussy in America? Like, even your girl, like, so you with your girl, and Bill Nye show up, you like, get that nigger some pussy. He taught me about beakers. And... In geometry, that nigger really helped me out. Science used to be sexy, and then we all got our feelings hurt. because we spent all this money to go to the moon only to find out the moon wasn't made out of cheese. Right? Because that's, oh, I'm the only nigga that thought that the moon was made out of cheese. So, sir, your grandpa didn't come to you, and he was like, the moon's made out of cheese, and every night God take a little nibble out of the moon, and that's why I go from waxing the crescent to new moon, right? So I was the only nigga that... If we didn't think the moon was made out of cheese, then why we put a fission? flag in it. All right? Why we put a flag in it if we didn't think the moon was made out of cheese? If we didn't think the moon was made out of cheese, then why we sent three white guys up there? Love cheese. You don't even got to know each other. You just put some cheese together. These three white guys, push cheese, y'all niggas best friends. The only people who like cheese more of the three white guys is three white women, but we weren't sending them up there. Like, you know what I'm saying? I don't even know if they can drive then. Like, you know what I'm saying? I don't know what the laws was. I wasn't born. But we couldn't sit them up there. Then we said Buzz Aldrich. The nigga got off the plane and he licked the rocket. He was like, ugh. Right. And now we don't give a fuck about the moon, right? We don't give a fuck about going to space. Every year or day, like, we go on to Mars. Don't nobody give a fuck. We like, nigga, I ain't never seen red cheese. You know what I'm saying? Like, that shit was because we wanted to go mine the moon, right? Could you picture we had found cheese on the moon, nigga, we would have been still in every planet moon like, nigga. We would have took all eight moons on Saturn, nigga. I learned that from Bill 9. That's my time.