Timmy No Brakes

Look, I don't know if you guys all know these episodes are on a delay. Okay, like this episode's gonna be coming out in a week, so I'm doing topical jokes based on what I assume will happen. God damn. This is crazy. Do you guys see how, Obama's dick pick got leaked. Michelle Obama's. She has a horse talk. That bitch is a horse. September 11th, what, uh, yesterday it was Roe Shoshana, uh, Jewish New Year, where my Jews at? Get the fuck out! Less of a prediction, more of a feeling. Look, uh, it's been a rough week for Kill Tone. for Kill Tone. You guys have probably seen the news. Dedrick is back in jail. I know. I know. He gave me a statement to read. What did you know about getting arrested in Taiwan? Because your friend put a gun in your retainer case. Yeah, Dedrick Cizze is going to fucking kill me. A while ago, Uncle Laser got his dick sucked on a podcast by a 16-year-old or a girl that looked 16 with Down syndrome. And apparently, uh, she didn't just look like it. I mean, holy fuck. He's a pedophile. He's an uncle. He's in jail. One more. Uh, Maun Phillips, also in jail. Um, he held a baby. So, um, no, we're having fun. I, uh, I gotta get serious for a second. I don't know if you you guys probably heard, but we lost someone really important in the Kiltone family. And I just want to pay some respects to them, so play the video. I'm trying to pay my respect. Here it comes. All right, here it comes. Give it up for my special needs son in the fucking sound booth right now. All right, guys. Here we go. Hey, did you jump? It's pretty much... Bidt! What Bid? Pits of shit. You fucking idiot. I'm so retarded. Fucking piece of shit. You pervert. Piece of fucking shit. You bad ass. Dumbass. Bid.

Cannot be transcribed to be honest.

Relax gay guy. Jesus Christ. So, I watched Kill Tone for the first time. And one word, uh, hyphen gay, very gay. So, I hired an editor to edit my part of the episode to make it more exciting, okay?

I cannot even begin to try and transcribe this shit, just go watch it.

What's up? My name is Timmy No Break's and welcome to Timmy Ass. You got a... Jesus fucking Christ. This guy won't let people say the M-word or play the fucking guitar. This is insane. Okay. On my neck is a shock collar. and in my hand is the remote. If you press this orange button, it will shock me. Now, if I bomb, one of you guys will get to shock me. I won't bomb because I don't bomb. But this, this is the bomb shock collar. This is fucking terrible. Now, because this is a dog collar, I will give it to this lesbian bitch. Jesus Christ No, you can't Start the timer Red Band Did you guys see During the Olympics. How that girl Lindsay Vaughn broke up What the fuck are you doing You dumb whore I'm in the setup Wait for the punch Hold it up Lady hold it up a little bit So that we can see it There you go And keep Kind of not that high Pohn This is an uninterrupted I know Shut the fuck up I know Just keep it So we can see When you do it This is show busy Take it from the top. Here we go. And action. Did you guys... Shut the fuck up, Matt. I'm trying to do the minute. It doesn't even sound like the fucking thing. I'm about to say the end word if you do it again. I'm going to fucking freak out. Okay, start the timer now, Red Band. Here we go. Did you guys see... The Olympics had that skier. Lindsey Vaughn. Broke a leg, you know? Sad. You know where that wouldn't have happened? Uh, the kitchen. Boom, fuck you. Relax. Relax. Relax. I'm gonna be honest. I love the woman's Olympics. I do. Yeah, I do. I think every woman's sport should only be televised once every four years. Suck a dick. What the fuck you fucking bitch? Guys, everybody, give it up for the woman's hockey team. They won gold. Yeah, finally. positive video featuring white woman and ice. Take that, you lesbian. Boom. Merk ya. All right, one more.