Marvin Izzy

Y'all good? Oh yeah man. So I've been out here in Austin for a couple of months and saw on the news that the reporter said that these two individuals got into a kerfuffle and one of 'em stabbed the other and murdered them. And that shit made me sad. 'cause like 40 years of being on this earth and I ain't know what kerfuffle meant. I was looking up, where's Kerfuffle Texas on Google and shit. Celebrated 18 years with my wife, which is cool. But my grandparents celebrated what they were 60 years together before they passed away. And I asked her like, what's your secret for a long relationship like that? And my grandmother was like, it's not, don't worry, it's not gonna happen for you. And I'm like, damn, why not? And she was like, because we've known each other since we were children. And I'm like, that's beautiful. Like, how did y'all even know each other since y'all were kids? And she was like, because we're cousins. So it's, it's true. We are not, I will never achieve what they achieved. 'cause I broke up with my cousin years ago.

Man, I can't stand managers yo, I can't stand managers. You ever see a job interview? They always ask you stupid shit. Like where do you see yourself in five years? I be looking at 'em like probably in front of another motherfucker asking me where do I see myself in five years? Man, I can't stand managers yo. When they come into the office, 8:00 AM ready to go, energized. Hopped up on cocaine and coffee. I don't do that shit, man. Don't come into the office. 8:00 AM hopped up on cocaine and coffee and I'm 15 minutes late, high on weed bitch. Like we just not on the same wavelengths. No I can't stand it, man. As soon as I come into the office, first thing I hear, Hey Marvin, I need you to do me a favor. I need you to put in this order. Print them, scan them facts. I'm emailing to me, communicate to Phyllis the location of the packers. Redo the vacations and sort the tax terms. So fucked again, I'm gonna be late to Friday's meeting in video. Today is Tuesday. I need you to organize the filing capital, but again, chronologically and then do inventory. Then I need you to stay overtime while I'll lead her and prioritize my family. Type this over or yours. 'cause we're gonna go to the movies. If you need anything, just send me an email. CC John. Okay. And I'm high on weed. Like I Lemme get a pen real quick. Hold on. All right, that's me.

This is dope, y'all. I'm having a good time, yo. Happy to be here, man. I'm really happy to be here, yo, because tonight's normally the night where me and my wife, we do this thing called Netflix and chill. Y'all heard of that? Where she watches Netflix and I have to go chill somewhere else? I'm kidding, man. I love my wife, yo. I have to. She makes more money than me. I realize I'm the housewife. I noticed this the other night when I was ironing her work clothes, which is messed up because she work from home. I need a new weed dealer, man. Last time I hit my weed dealer, the last time I hit my weed dealer up was voice text. I say, yo, you on deck, and I sent it. I ain't know my phone hurt, yo, you on dick. So he still serves me weed now. He just don't give me eye contact no more, man. And I need weed for like, you know, to tolerate work, man. Like I can't stand jobs, yo. Like I don't participate in work functions like Secret Santas, because I always end up drawing the coworker I don't like which is all of them. One time I drew the manager. I ain't know what to get him for Secret Santa. So I got him the best gift I thought I could give him. My two weeks notice. I'm Marvin Izzie.

We here. I smoke weed. That's something me and my father used to do, smoke weed and laugh, smoke weed and laugh. But we can't do it no more because his lungs can't take it like he used to because he's dead, right? Smoked so much, he's ashes now. Don't feel bad, though. I got a quarter pound of him in my living room. My little sister hit me up. Was like, I want some of his ashes so I can put in a locket. I was like, I'll sell you an A for 60. I want me and my wife to have a kid so I can know what the race in my baby-gong turn out to be. I say race because I'm Puerto Rican and my wife is Honduran. So if you use your mixed-race calculator, and turn out to be? I'll say race, because I'm Puerto Rican, and my wife is Honduran. So if you use your mixed race calculator, Puerto Rico plus Honduras equals Mexican. Cuban, if you carry the one. Y'all think I'm joking. That mixed race calculator for real. Like, if you get a Chinese person and a Jamaican, you get a Filipino. You get an African and a Venezuelan. You get a Haitian. If you get a Colombian and a Cuban, that's just a very serious cokehead in front of you. Just letting you know that shit right now.