John Betchel

Well, ladies and gentlemen, you're in a four trees. So let's see how it goes. Austin, Texas. How's it going? RFK, it's on fucking sight. Without these food dyes, how am I going to know which M&M I want to fuck now. Jokes on you. It's the yellow one. I love that big dumb slight. Hey, y'all. Give it up, Mother Chip. I know this is a crowd of true, blue, red, 40-blooded Americans. Am I goddamn right? No, these music biopics, they're crazy. They're making like a Bruce Springsteen one. What, in 20 years, the clone of Timothy Shalame is going to star in a One Direction movie that gets nominated for Academy award where we learned what direction that band was about. Down! We'll get a story about XXXXTintoshion's older brother XI, XI, XI, XI 11thian. The story of Big Little Uzi Verth's dad, big Gatling Gun horizontal. All of his friends are alive. How Rob Tombs from Matchbox 20 is just like, yeah, hindsight smashbox 2020. I know Joanchi loves fabrics. I wouldn't trust a single Jason Vidalie.

Austin, Texas. How's it going? Give it up for the Supreme leader. Aya Khomeni. Y'all. How many of y'all are on dates here tonight? Because like war was declared for a second that, oh look, I'm scared to go to War Pussy. You know, like how many here men are dogs? Am I right? Men are like dogs. White women, fuck them. Occasionally they took down the, they took down the billboard outside my place of the kid who OD'ed on fentanyl. I guess he got better. Like give it up for that guy. Give it up for the sleepy time. T Bear that motherfucker's been sleeping on the job for 40 fucking years. Has anyone checked him? It might be like the dead, the entire timet bear. Like motherfucker OD'ed on hibiscus. Yeah. So yeah, I'm really glad we didn't go to the war. 'cause like if a new kid outside San Diego, I don't think Mountain Dew would like last after the Baja blast of 2025. Yo, those Ninja Turtles, they're always saying Cowabunga. Those motherfuckers should be asking Howabunga like I work in like food service. I have to deliver pizzas on the street. Hell yeah.