Fiona Cauley

She's here, live in the flat, the one and one more time for Fiona Collie, everybody. Talked a lot about being married, but I used to be like a real big horror. Okay, and I don't feel bad about it. I think anyone in my situation would have done the same. Okay. You know, I was 18, I was single, diagnosed with this shit. I thought I was dying. You know? I wanted to roll into as much dick as possible. You know? And then you find out you're not really dying. And now you're like just a whore. And that is her truth to live with. But back in my day, I had a good amount of one-night stands, okay? But I'm a normal lady. Sometimes I wanted to, like, sneak out. This shit. Made it impossible. Every time I back up. Okay, so I did figure out like a workaround for it. I started only fucking black guys.

Ahhh man. I have a one-year old nephew named Niko. He's a cute baby we like him. For Christmas we went over to his house. And he was sitting on the floor on front of me, maintaining eye contact. It's never a good thing. And in this moment this fucking baby decides to stand up and take his first steps... The disrespect... Unfounded. Why don't we learn how to read a room before we walk. I tripped him...

New York City. A lot of stairs... Man, I was recently approached by a couple in proposition for a threesome. I am always down for the half the work. I do bring my own cuck chair. I did learn though that like the quickest way to ruin the vibe of a threesome is to ask if their own is ADA compliant. And if it were, I think I would be more concerned.

Hello? Hello. I just got back from France. Oh yeah, they let me over there. No, it was pretty funny. I got there and I had to Uber from the airport at the hotel and my fiance was with me and our Uber driver was like this really hot French man. Okay. And I thought he was hitting on me and I was really excited to turn down this French guy in front of my fiance. I kind of need that emotionally. And then he goes, I just really love your voice, which as you all can imagine, isn't really a compliment. I get off it. Yeah, no. And then he goes, yeah, I'm learning English. You...talk so slow. It's so helpful. And like y'all, I am already humbled. Do you know what I mean? Like God took care. I don't need this, man. My point is Duolingo can suck my dick. Duolingo can sucked by Wee Wee or what? Thank you.

Oh my God. Hell yeah. Okay, so did y'all know there is a hierarchy within the disabled community? No, it's true. Like the harder it is for you to go to the bathroom by yourself, the more street grid you have, the Crips or whatever, like if I see some bitch okay. And a rented scooter, she's holding the door for me like a Tony said I am from here. And ah, being in the south though, y'all say this to me all the fucking time. Hey, you know, God gives his toughest battles to his strongest warriors. You heard this? Yeah. Well, from where I'm sitting, you all are looking like a bunch of pussies to me.

Hell yeah. So I did recently get engaged. I I really use the hell outta my Make-A-Wish I'm marrying John Cena. Oh my God. No, my, my fiancé, he is like a good bit older than me and the only like, okay. The only real difference I've noticed there is when I give him road head, I guess all head I give is kinda road head. When I give him road head though, he will turn his hazards on like, what the fuck? Safety first. Yeah. Thank y'all so much.