Chris Silio

Is she even hot? I fucking can't wait for robot eyes. God damn it. I miss tits so much. Elon Musk keeps telling me he's going to put a computer chip in my brain that'll let me see again. It's fucking crazy. He calls it Neurlink. But he says the first version of it is going to look like old school Atari video game graphics. That's not an upgrade. I finally get to see tits in their squares. I get to go to a strip club and it looks like Super Mario World in there, man. I don't want pong pussy, you know? I'll wait for two raider titties at least. Dude, people are so mad at Elon. that they were breaking and vandalizing Tesla's, that's so fucked up. Because the coolest part about a Tesla is that one day I'll be able to buy one and drive it home. It'll be the happiest day of my life, somebody will immediately spray paint Nazi piece of shit on it. That's fucked up. I'm not even going to know. I'm just going to drive around for two weeks like the happiest Nazi in the world. This smiling skinhead piece of shit blaring Kanye West out my speakers. Like, I didn't even know there was a problem, dude.

What up? All right I had to make sure. I fucking just moved here. I moved from Miami. I moved 1,000 miles away from where I grew up my entire life. Now I really don't know where the fuck I am. It's like I'm in a part of a video game that hasn't loaded yet. It sucks that like I'm the only guy in here that just gets stuck like a Roomba. Like if I don't tap, tap, tap and find the exit, I'm just going to stand there and beep until somebody picks me up. Like, home. Home, please, I have to shit. You don't know how long you can hold in a shit into your me. And you never know where another bathroom's ever going to be, dude. You're like, well, I guess I'm never going to shit again. It sucks that, like, I'm the only guy in here that has to send his dick picks to his boys first for approval. Yeah, I gotta be like, yo, yo, yo, yo. Is this a good one? And then they get to be like, why is your dog in the shot, Chris? Were you aiming for all balls by chance? This is just half your cock and not the good half. It's all root. Nobody wants all root. Thank you guys very much, yeah.

Fuck. I hope this is real. What a hilarious prank that would be, Chris. It's your big break. It's KILL TONY. It's an empty warehouse. Nobody's here. Oh shit. All I did, all I did before I went blind was jerk off and play video games and I, and then God was like, that's enough. Yeah, I'd give you a gift and you wasted it, son. I'm gonna let you guys in a little secret. I'd do it all again tomorrow. I wouldn't have changed the goddamn thing. Dude, give it up for my roommate for bringing me out here. Dude. He's a way better roommate. My last roommate sucked. He just didn't really care about personal space. He would always hang out in my room. Yeah. So every time I'd go to jerk off, I'd have to be like, hello. Yeah. Yeah. Is anyone there? Which by the way, if you ever hear me say hello, is anyone there? You have about 30 seconds before I start jerking off. Right? Wow. You should say something. All right. Ru is on you, not me. I don't want to hear about it in the papers later. The guy who kind of looks like Louis Cck does exactly what Louis CCK did.