Michael Scott

I got a Roomba recently. He's black. He cleans my house. It's a sweet deal. What is the black bass bass? What is the black base model for every object that's supposed to improve our lives? Why is it always black? I gave mine a pair of white gloves and a bow tie. I pushed clean on him and he goes up and down the holes. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Master keep my battery is charged. The other day I hit clean on Toby. Oh, his name is Toby. I couldn't name him Kunta. My mom comes over. I'm like, watch your feet. Coonto's trying to get by. Uh. So the other day I hit clean on Toby. He goes towards the end of the hall and he's cleaning and he starts beeping and goes back to recharge his batteries. And I nearly spilt my sweet tea. I get up and I go, the hell you will! Whoosh! Nobody said you could take a break. So I got up and I watched him clean my house until he died. And when he died, I bought a new one at an auction for three-fifths, the price of It's a black one. Wow, Michael, stop pushing it to the limit with an incredibly racist set that only you could do. Only me.

Hey, I know what, what I look like. I know what I sound like. I hear it too guys. I feel I got the vibe of, I just got cast as Donatello in Tyler Perry's new Ninja Turtles movie. Yeah, he's the tech guy. I get it. I'm a weird kid. I was a weird kid. I had a lot of animals. Had a, I started off with two rabbits. I ended up with 14. That being said, I've seen rabbits Fuck a lot guys. It's pretty crazy. It's like one rabbit mining his own business. That was my white one. And then my black one would come hopping along, mount it fiercely. Fuck it for about 10 seconds and then everyone takes off running. My question guys, why does rabbit sex only last 10 seconds? Is it evolution or is rabbit Pussy just as good as I think it is?

You guys look like you fuck with rap music, right? Yeah. Cool crowd, okay. You guys remember rapper Mystical? Shake your ass, watch yourselves. Show me what you're working with. That guy, Mystical? Mystical was my favorite rapper when I was a kid. It wasn't for the bars, because he wasn't great. It was more the fact that I found out he was a combat engineer during the Gulf War. Mystical was a fucking minesweeper. I liked to play this game where I imagined Mystical out there leading his troops during the Gulf War while preparing for his future rap career. You guys, hey guys, hang back real quick. I gotta make sure it's clear. It's the minesweeper. Doo doo doot. Doo doo doot. Danger. Watch yourselves. Get on the floor. All right, that's all I got.