Dr Timmy T

I had to talk to this patient the other day. She kept swallowing pennies. I kept her, I was like, why are you wishing well? She's like, no. I saw on TikTok that copper prevents pregnancy. Yeah. I told her, darling, if you're trying not to get pregnant, I think you might be swallowing the wrong thing. As you can tell by my name and my story, I am a doctor. I'm a primary care physician, but I also am a part-time gynecologist. By that, I mean I do IUDs, pap smears, and sometimes I deliver babies. The other day, I delivered this baby, and I walked in the room, and the parents were arguing about whether or not they should circumcise their child. The mom was saying it was a barbaric ritual. She didn't want it done. The dad was saying it was a family tradition. They'd done it for generations. They asked me my opinion. I said, yeah. I think I'm going to stop with the mom on this one. The dad got mad. He said I was sexist. He called me sexist. He said he was going to complain to admin. And I said, sir, you can complain to admin all you want, but there's no way the hospital is going to let us circumcise your daughter.

Do y'all know why the Native Americans say how? It's because the settlers killed them before they could get out. Are you doing? I went to this Indian restaurant the other day, and when I walked in, there were swastikas all over the walls. Now I'm from the south. That's not completely unnormal. But I went up to the guy at the front, and I was like, hey, man, what's up with all the swastikas? He was like, listen, listen, it's Sanskrit for good luck. He's like, yeah, but it's Hebrew for bad luck. I went on to ask him, I was like, hey, what's better? The lambindaloo or the buttered chicken? He was like, ah, they're both good in their own right. Yeah, I didn't get either one. I ended up getting the swastika masala. Yeah. I'm kidding. What I really got was diarrhea. No. So I grew up really religious, and being really religious, they're like, hey, you need to try to be like Jesus, which is a really high standard. You know, he was perfect, walked on water, performed miracles. I was like, how can I live up to those expectations? And then I read Revelations 2212, and it said, Jesus said, behold, I cometh quickly. He's like, finally, I can be a little more Christlike