Bobby Ludlum

What's up, Kill Tony? I'm pretty sure that my roommates are stealing my soap. I knew they were stealing my food. So I hid me leftover soup in a shampoo bottle. And now they fucking smell delicious. So I was adopted twice. You can do that. You can just give them back. The second man who adopted me, he was born in Dallas, Texas in 1921. So I was actually, you know, like raised racist. We were also really poor. All of our sheets had holes in them. My dad used to pay my allowance in Confederate money. He said, this ain't worth much now, but hold on to it. I quit drinking nine years ago, and I quit being racist seven years ago. It was actually harder for me to quit being racist than it was to quit drinking. I'll give you an example. If I wake up in the middle of the night and stub my toe, I've never wanted to scream beer with a hard R. I live with a brown recluse. It's not a spider. It's just a Mexican who never leaves the house. Thank you, guys.

Up, Austin, Texas. How the hell are you? My name is Bobby Ludlam. That's our first to Bobby and Alaska. Lincoln Union Delta Lima Alpha Mary. If any of you are fucking cops out there. I moved here from California because in California you have to suck dick for stage At least that's what I thought. Boy, was I embarrassed. I was trying polyamory, which is Latin, for lonely on Friday night. I tried to get my girlfriend to have sex with me in the public restroom, you know, the family restroom at the public pool, and she said, no, what if we get caught? And I told her, don't worry, I'll just tell them you're my sister. I only play tag with non-binary, so I can call them it. Bedtime must be a confusing time for the parents of a trans lad, Do you stop tucking him in? I drew an extremely detailed picture of Israel after a drone strike, and I accidentally invented a new form of art called hyper-Israelism. I don't always wear a watch if I want to know what time it is. I pull out my cock and someone says, hey, your cock's out and it's 3 o'clock in the afternoon