Vanessa Scaduto

What is up, Austin? I'm an older broad. You know, it's kind of obvious a little bit, right? And every day, though, I'm reminded of it. The other day, I was driving down the road, and I saw a car swerving. It's broad daylight, and I'm like, what the fuck is going on? All of a sudden I see the passenger. I can't bend over too far, sorry, pop up and do this number. And I was like, oh, fucking roadhead, dude. I used to do that, you know, before I went to therapy and realized my dad does love me. He just doesn't know how to show it. What else? Ladies, titty fucking. Are you in your 30s still doing that? It's like we're playing an accordion, right? a shake weight, right? We're opening a pickle jar. Maybe I'll use my mouth if you're lucky. What else? Getting cummed in the face. That's not a facial, guys. It's not. I know in your time probably. But what else? Why does it always smell like bleach? I'm waiting. Nobody's been able to dispel that mystery. But the one thing I know that never changes as I get older is the shame I feel after coming in the shower by myself. My name's Vanessa Skiduto. Thank you guys.