Max Wissinger

So I was making out with my girlfriend last week. Yeah. Things were heating up. She started taking her clothes off. Yeah. She was like, Max, you look like a kid in a candy store. I said, babe, it's not you. I look like a kid in any store. Yeah. Just kidding. I don't have a girlfriend. Yeah. I can't keep a girlfriend, all right? because they don't feel safe with me. Because I'm gluten-free. I mean, I can't even fight off a little Debbie. It sucks, right? Like, someone brings donuts to work. I can't have any. Apple fritter? Straight to the shitter. Being gluten-free is so depressing. The only time I even think about using a toaster is when I'm taking a bath. Guys, come on. My therapist said, I need an outlet. Thank you.