Kim Congdon

What's up Austin? Hell yeah. My names Kim Congdon and I'm one of the first Kill Tony regulars, and I am a Puerto Rican comedian. These are my white slaves. And I really wanted to take this option tonight to do something that every Puerto Rican wants to do right now [pulls out knife and goes for Tony]. I'm just kidding, I watched the Trump rally dude, I watched Tony's speech. I was a little bit upset, I gotta tell you. Half my blood is Puerto Rican, it's true. Unlike Tony's blood, half of that is HIV, it's true. As you see my white slaves are holding Puerto Rican flags, those are Puerto Rican flags people, they look different, they do. They have one star just like Tony's first Netflix special. Tony, you call Puerto Rican an island full of piles of hot trash, which is very close to what you like - island full of piles of hot boys you fucked. And I'm here to stand up for my people tonight because I'm gonna say Puerto Ricans are American as fuck, we're just like y'all. We have a lot of American contributions and trades, we love our culture, we love our music, we work in Aerospace, we don't want white people on our island, we're racist like you guys. And this is the last thing I'll say, Tony I think it's fucking insane that you don't like Puerto Rico, it's a beautiful place and the only dirty parts have been taken over by white billionaires. It's literally you idiot.