Luke Stamm

My father taught me to carry a rubber on me at all times because it helps make women feel safe and I never know what I'm going to need it. But I feel like I'm doing something wrong because anytime I pull out my rubber, women don't feel safe at all. So say you, say, meet you like right here, right now, and I take you home like I plan on doing. You know, we're getting hot and heavy. It's time for me to pull out my rubber. I just tell you, if you don't stick my fucking cock in your mouth right now, bitch, I swear to Christ. If you don't put my pee-pee in your piehole whore, I need you to, please, I need you to do this for me. I love you. You're acting too much like your mo- Oh, God damn. Sir, I got bad news for you. No, you got to stick my cock in your mouth. Do you have a gap in your teeth? Well, for the joke, it hate you. Yeah, you don't have a gap in your teeth. I can make one. And I need the gap. I love the gap because I got a vein on the side of my cock. It looks like if your thumb had a pinky grown down the side of it. And I want that vein to nestle in the gap in your teeth like a jockey on a set.

I'm tired of pretending that I have to care about homeless people. Cause I fucking hate homeless people. They always come up to you asking you for something they don't need like a dollar. It's like, bitch, you don't even have legs. What are you gonna go spend it on? You know, they never come up to you asking you for something they do need like a piggyback ride to the nearest bridge. That way you can toss them off into the river. That's a win-win, because if they die, they get to move into the house of God. And if they live, they've been stinking up the corner for a week anyway. They can start fresh and clean 20 miles the fuck away from me. Now, I understand there's a lot of veterans that are homeless, and I want to have a soft spot for them but it's hard for me to, because we taught them how to make money. It's like as soon as they became homeless they forgot how to point a gun in someone's face. Why are you asking me for a dollar? Come and take it bitch.

I found out that Hellen Keller's father, was the captain of the confederate army. So I guess that bitch got what she has coming. Because if she could speak should would have said the n-word entirely too much. Then again I'm not sure she had the capacity to be racist because she was also blind. So everybody was black to her. The fucking horrors... Listen, I think you should be able to say all the slurs. We're just having fun, we're just goofing around. But there is one slur you shouldn't say, and that is the n-word. Because if you do say it and you're not supposed to, they're gonna start acting like one. We don't need that kinda crime in our communities. I found out that hte microwave oven was invented October 15th, 1945. That was a fucking close one. WW2 ended a month prior, I just glad that housewives caught onto the microwave before Hitler. Because the only thing worse than a quicker genocide is one cold in the center when you're done with it.